THE ART OF WAR: An ode to hip hop beef down right

Once as much a focal point in the culture as graffiti and spinning on your head, beef now gets a bad rap and is seemingly to be avoided at all cost by today’s rappers. In reality it wasn’t beef that killed anyone or embarrassed the culture, it was beef done wrong. Beef that starts in the streets and ends up on wax isn’t hip hop beef, it’s street shit that somehow ends up with people snitching on themselves. I for one would love to see the music brand get back to being more of a (lyrically) contact sport but I would like to see it done right. So in an effort to help, I introduce the art of hip hop beef, simple guidelines to keep you from making a fool of your self.

1. HAVE A GOOD SONG

I can’t stress this enough but having an actual good song is the single most important aspect of all. If the song is good firstly people will listen, secondly people will want to know the story behind the vitriol in the rhymes, people will go as far as to fact check, break down lyrics all the while adding fuel to the fire. From this point the ball will be in your opponents court…But the song has got to be good otherwise no one will care. Remember that diss song scott storch made to timberland? No? exactly.

2. MORE BRET HART, LESS HONKY TONK MAN

Bret the hitman Hart was a gladiator, a warrior, a true champion. The best there is the best there was and the best there ever will be. When he was the heavyweight champion, the excellence of execution would literally give any deserving contender a title shot, anytime anyplace. The honky tonk man however was a hack champion that somehow cheated his way into the belt and managed to keep it for 15 months by dancing around matches and even going as far as to disqualify himself in matches to retain the title. I see a lot of honky tonk in the new way of handling beefs now days. if your gonna be the top guy you have to understand that people are gonna take shots at you. And if it makes enough noise YES: YOU DO HAVE TO RESPOND.

Don’t let jay z fool you with the “im too big to respond” thing, it works for him and fits his cool debonair persona but also keep in mind that it came from the fact that the last time he started a rap beef HE LOST (see ether). Kudos for turning a weakness into a strength and all but lets not get it twisted. Too important to respond for one person can easily come off as too scared to respond depending on how you handle it. I cringed when I heard the now infamous “Drake, heres how they gonna come at you” verse from jay z essentially handing down a corrupt code of ethics more befitting in a corporate environment than the no holds bared war zone that is supposed to be hip hop. Im not saying you have to respond to any loser no name that makes a youtube diss about you. I totally understand the notion that you don’t want to make anyone more famous by responding to them. I kinda wish someone would make a pie chart of how already famous a possible foe would need to be in order to warrant a response.


3. KEEP IT ON WAX PEOPLE, KEEP IT ON WAX

Unless someone is flat out dropping threats (Specific ones) on you in they're rhymes don’t be that guy that takes it off in the records and into the streets. One of the most respected things in the nas vs jay war was that it ended without a body count and those guys WERE NOT holding back on wax. Peoples baby moms really got screwed, that alone could have led to someone getting gunned up and clapped quick. If you can’t respond in some bars and feel you have to get all Olivia Newton john with it, you lost.

4.SUBLETY IS KEY

I just saw the aftermath of Clipse member Pusha T dropping an alleged diss song to drake entitled “don’t fuck with me”. The rhymes are so subtle but cutting and is perfect for dealing with the first baby steps of a beef. If the issue turns out to be not important, forget about it, no big deal. If it turns out to be the beginning of something you dealt the first move. A diss like this isn’t a gun shot, but is more like you cocking the hammer. You never want to go all out on your first attempt. A lot of classic beefs started out with the opponents doing the lyrical version of boxers throwing jabs and dancing around each other in the first round. It’s very important to feel your opponent and the situation out. The best part about it is that it leaves enough to the imagination that maybe it was a diss at such and such, maybe it wasn’t. This causes people to ask questions, people like radio djs [publicity!]

5. TRUTH HURTS

When it comes to diss songs we as hip hop listeners have heard it all before.

“ill slap the shit outta you when I see you”
“I got more money than you”
“ my car cleaner than yours”

and so on and so on and so ad nausium.
But these are all very generic and make believe and unless they are put in a very clever way don’t really mean much. When it comes to diss records, nothing and I mean nothing hits like the truth. Provable, undeniable, embarrassing truth in rhyme form can cripple an opponent, sometimes serving as an instant knockout. Sometimes it can be a smoking gun (were speaking of evidence of course, see the “keep it on wax” rule) or sometimes logical conclusion of which the truth was out there the entire time but no one simply connected the dots (such as Eazy E’s dre diss “real muthafuckin G’s” track that pointed out Dre’s earlier more effeminate attire to his now gangster style change up), the best can be an inconvenient truth that comes at the worst time such as Eminem’s “warning shot” track to Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon that exposes a relationship between Em and the pop singer complete with recorded audio of a flirtatious phone conversation between the two. This approach usually ends things as they usually cause your opponent to have to respond on two fronts; both to the initial diss record and to the charges included in it. This is usually game over.

6. UNDERSTADING TACTICS

Remember earlier when I said keep it on wax? Well that’s not exactly an absolute. While its childish, reckless, and downright dangerous to get physical over a rap beef, there are non physical tactics you can use to stack the deck in your favor that are outside of creating actual diss songs. There is a reason boxing matches have the back story damn near movie intros of the fighters backgrounds and how the fight came to be before the big match, it builds up the story. This is politics and in politics you want to look like your winning so you’ll win. Never miss an opportunity to get one in on your opponent. The game did this while providing his voice for grand theft auto San Andréa’s. One of the fake gangsters in the game was named Jeffery, what’s so important about this name? it’s the same as Jeffery Atkins, real name of long time G unit enemy JA Rule. In between you putting another record out, little things like this will keep your name in the headlines and keep you relevant. It will also keep stroking the fires of that rap beef so it stays fresh. Don’t over do it though, I see two big ones being used all the time to the point of laziness the young guys hide behind “He mad cause he old” excuses and the old guys use the “I’m a legend you should just bow down now” idea.

These are not absolutes, people are doing things everyday to innovate and keep the art of beef fresh but please feel free to use these if you want to do it right.

SUPPORT IS A GATEWAY DRUG

[NOTE TO SEATTLITES: This is an NO WAY an attempt to take any shots at my dude Larue. The “S” word has been one going around long before him and will be around long after. Just felt this was as good a time as any to write this since its fresh on peoples minds.]


There are a few lines that float around this cities rap scene that have always secretly made me cringe. Phrases like “true hip hop” in a sappy ass east coast wannabe track, any time a freestyler fucks up and has to justify it by reminding you “this is straight from the top”, or pretty much any call and response with a crowd (especially in situations were the crowd isn’t responding) can be so cheesy they start to sound like the audible equivalent of a 40 year old man wearing a tall tee, however none can fuck with the granddaddy of them all; Support local hip hop.

Before we go any further here I want you to stop and think about how that sounds; “Support local hip hop”. Listen to the key word; “support”.

[Per websters online]
SUPPORT - The activity of providing for or maintaining

When I think of the word support that’s exactly what comes to mind, Child support, a support beam for a crumpling structure, life support for the sick. All things made to be provided and maintained for, something that can’t provide for or maintain itself.

Is that really what this scene needs, some artificial prop up, some guilt driven imperative to “help the poor rapper out” like were sitting in the middle of the Sahara with bloated bellies and flies on our faces? This is hip-hop, it’s a contact sport. I don’t want no fucking support, I want fans, followers, listeners.
To be fair, the people who spout off with this kind of talk don’t mean “supporters” in the traditional sense of the word. More in the lines of not being slept on as a dope artist, or not being passed over by a local tastemaker for their “big break” in the city. That’s more respectable, but even that can take a dangerous drive down “Doing it wrong blvd”.
Firstly, supporters make “shitty, shitty” fans. Seriously, lets be honest here, “supporting” fans are usually the same people you use to buy your kids fundraiser candy every year (friends family and coworkers). They’ll show up, they’ll buy the album; they’ll even pay at the front door, BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY HAVE TO. They hate every moment of it, and every year when that time comes around they see you and cringe. If it gets worse they’ll begin to avoid you, they’ll have other things to do one the date of your show, “won’t have enough money” for your album, and the like. Fans on the other hand, can’t wait to buy your album, want (WANT) to hear about your latest endeavors, and will spend their last to get to one of your shows. Fans will even take it a step further and tell other people about your music and bring them along, they’ll post your music on social networking sites and get your name out. Supporters wont make you a trending topic on twitter, fans will. One of the most embarrassing memories I have of starting out doing shows was at a show in which the only people paying attention to our performance were a few coworkers and my homeboys mom in the front row (yes you read that right). Until now we never talked about that show cause it was so bad. The dj choked back a little chuckle as he announced our names when we walked off the stage.
Secondly as far as networking and business goes, as cold as it may sound people only extend a hand to your business when they feel they can get something out of it. There’s nothing underhanded behind the idea of putting money in with the goal of getting something in return of equal or greater value, its just business. We do it everyday when we purchase items, and we ourselves are the product when were hired. So when a show booker looks at you as an artist in a sea of similar artist there has to be something that says “this one will make me some money”. If part of your problem is that you don’t have a following then there is no point in them booking you and thus begins a cycle that you may see as lack of support.
I hate to sound like a republican here, but this may be the one time they have something right. In this one instance, support is one of those things people get too used to and become dependent on (that’s why its called support). Supporters also have the nasty habit of giving artist bad intelligence by nature of their very existence. Where dwindling fans would act as a clear indication to even the most stubborn artist that things aren’t looking good and changes may need to take place (maybe your fans didn’t like your last project and its time to step your game up), supporters will stick around despite your performance, giving artist a false sense of achievement and in turn encouraging bad behavior. I know of a couple artist that have yes men feeding them very bad advice along their (unbeknownst to them) crappy careers and one of the first things I try to do is get them as far away from that kind of feedback as possible. Imagine having that outside of the studio 24/7 for a second. Its these same supporter/yes men that convince these rappers that its okay to put together sloppy, lazy projects, the same supporters/yes men that convince rappers that its okay to give shitty performances, and it is these same supporters/yes men that make these artist think there is no need to push their art further.
The real problem could stem from the fact that most people only see the fruits and not the labors of an artistic movement. Upon seeing the end results, one tends to take what is at the scene for what may be the cause. You see Wiz shinning with the Taylor gang cats in the crowd and think “ok so all I need to do is name my followers and I’m in there!” 2 days later you see a thousand cats on twitter naming their followers

“what’s going on people, got a show down at the high dive, be sure to come through #teamhippidyhop”

its not like that at all. Wiz has been doing it for years and built everything he has from the ground up. See how its supposed to work is to start with a dope artist, you put out dope music, you pound the pavement (not just the net, the fucking pavement), and you network, mingle, you do shows and knock them out the box, lather rinse repeat. What many out here end up doing instead is coming out with respectable music and wait. That’s not how it works.
Now I’m not going to lie, as far as our scene goes, there is a degree of cronyism. People will back up certain artist that don’t deserve to be anywhere near on top and you’ll look around and see people nodding with approving smiles and think your in an episode of the twilight zone. Your not crazy, that guy does suck, but he’s not on top of things thanks to the 206 branch of the illuminati (sealuminati?). Do you know what those people are that are big upping him? That’s right, THEY ARE HIS SUPPORTERS! They bare nothing beyond marginal influence on your situation and will burn out eventually. Half the people you may think have it so big out here don’t really get past king county lines before that support wears off and they have to face real people and earn fans. Stop worrying about supporters.
If anything seattle needs LESS of a supportive scene and force artist to thave to step their fucking game up, I know it would have helped me tremendously back when I first started doing this if someone heard a wack ass beat/song from us and told us the real rather than “that’s dope, now hear mine”.

Shawwna back

If you pay attention you'll notice something interesting about the song (similar to getting some head).

SLAPPER ALERT! E40 - Rear View Mirror ft B Legit & Stressmatic

THIS SHIT GO! THAT IS ALL

ARE YOU USING YOUR EQUIPMENT TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL?

"What's the difference between him and you? he's got a team of expert sound designers,engineers, and years of personal experience in music to make his sounds pop. (also about 5 bank accounts 3 ounces, and 2 vehicles)"





Are you a gear addict? Do you drool over the idea of that new gear smell, be it from opening that box of software and seeing that shiny new CD Rom or setting up that drum machine? Do you love that feeling you get when you walk out of Guitar Center with that big ol box? That’s great, but what do you do to master your gear for creative and work flow purposes?

We producers, gear enthusiast and (nothing wrong with this word), hobbyist often harp on the flaws and follies of music production equipment companies. Most of these mishaps fall into some combination of not listening to their core consumers or corporate greed and we let them have it for their mistakes. We fly to the nearest computer to log in to our forum accounts to what ever site has users of similar products and we rail them for screw ups and oversight.

“this program isn’t 64 bit! What is wrong with these people!? Its 2011!”

or

“why can’t I sync this up to my [enter obscure obsolete midi board here]!? This program sucks!”

[Now before I go any further I wanna say that my last post caught a lot of heat from people thinking I was coming from a high and mighty state as if I was Moses passing down the word of god. That’s not the case. These entries are as much a referendum on me (if not more so) than anything else. Just a datalog of stuff I have learned, am learning, or have come to mind through my experience doing this music thing, usually written in a moment of rare downtime. ]

As all you who read this may or may not know, I am a hip hop producer. As any old school hip hop producer will tell you, the art form was created entirely off of instruments that were not made for it. Think about it, our main weapon of choice for live performance is a combination of two record players, our main focus in most tracks is the drums but most hip hop producers do not own or record drums in a studio (and most of them wouldn’t really know what to do with a drum set). That’s not a testament to how “real” of a traditional musician they are, but a statement to how genius they were. Sometimes limitation can make you do some truly creative stuff. Which is why the current state can be so confusing. In 2011 we hip hop heads have been given an almost limitless number of options when it comes to making music from powerful drum machines and workstations, to readily affordable and customizable software synthesizers and samplers. Yet rather than simply take us to a new level of hip hop music (the overall production for hip hop music has improved noticeably from the last 10 – 15 years) It has also had the nasty side effect of giving us GADD.

GADD is a condition known as “Gear Attention Deficit Disorder” that I just made up. It affects 1 in every 3 producers and can have some serious consequences if not put in check immediately. I am speaking about the dangers of GADD because I am a former sufferer of the dreaded condition. As we speak, I currently am the reluctant owner of

n Propellerhead Reason 4
n IK Multimedia Sampletank 2.5
n The entire Komplete 6 lineup
n EastWest QL Goliath
n Omnisphere
n Pro Tools 8
n Logic Pro 8

Something seem wrong about that? For those of you familiar with these products there are some serious issues of redundancy in that gear list. Reason, sampletank, and kontakt 4 and battery 3 (the last two of Komplete 6) all either have or are in fact themselves samplers all capable of doing (through varying processes) of the exact same thing. Absynth 4, Massive, Fm8, Omnisphere, and components in Reason again all either have or are themselves synthesizers who once again, are capable of doing (through varying processes) the exact same thing. Pro tools and Logic are both sequencers capable of- well you get the point by now.

The key word here is CAPABLE, and the problem is when I bought all of these programs the thought of capability never ran across my mind. Lets take a second and be honest here (you don’t even have to admit to this but just think it to yourself, no one will know). Do we really hear the capabilities that these programmers ramble off at NAMM conventions and factor them in to how they will fit your workflow and set up, or are they just cool things to, in turn ramble off to people when your explaining your purchase? The truth is a lot of us (not all but more than will care to admit in mixed company) don’t base our decisions to act on gear lust off of sound things like workflow and functionality. Were not really listening to Eric Persing talk about Omnisphere’s 10 possible oscillators, were too busy looking at him go through those beautiful leads and do cool things with them. That’s why when you pay the $479 and bring it home you’re surprised that it’s full of pads and phsycoacoustics. Then you go on Gearslutz.com and whine about how bad of a product it is. It’s not a bad product, you just weren’t paying attention. It’s soundest is geared towards television and film composers. Persing mentioned that somewhere in between talking about the LFO’s and the Multi-channel features but you were too busy drooling when he was playing the “Most Frequencies Known” patch.

The idea of having gear at your fingertips like today has made the idea of sitting down to learn/customize your product almost an alien aspect. My older brother used to own a Korg M1 and could damn near control that thing with telekinesis he was so one with it. If it was in California and he was in New York and it got a scratch he would probably feel it like those GI JOE twin villains. I myself on the other hand took a month to figure out how to make a synth on Absynth sound gated because I was too busy going through the THOUSANDS of patches in the other 4 – 5 soft synths that I own (thousands is not an exaggerated number). There’s nothing wrong at all with having kabillions of sounds at your disposal, but the problem comes in with the next keyword I keep mentioning; WORKFLOW.





Someone mentioned once that it isn’t really helpful from a time saving aspect to have to spend all day making synth sounds when you could just find a patch to fit your needs. Likewise it is just as overly time consumptive to swim through a sea of presets to find said patch. Which is what a lot of this game has become, combined with a little bit of eye candy and “new car smell” it is literally a constant chase to get the latest gear. Years ago, when workstations were the main god of production, a company had to come out with significant improvements or changes (depending on how a consumer perceived the alterations) to their product in order to make someone physically go out and purchase the new machine, carry it home and hook it up all the while discarding the old one. The act of physically performing this task gave it a real feel of change, an authentic upgrade. Just look at the list of changes and upgrades (or downgrades again depending on your perception) with the line of Akai MPCs. Within a span of 20 years you went from the MPC 60 (a stable, cutting edge but by today’s standards vastly underpowered instrument) to the MPC 5000 (capable of everything for midi in/out to an onboard synth). These were significant changes that can vastly alter a producer’s workflow and people needed to make measured decisions on whether or not to implement them into their setup. The change from one program to another now days can be something as large as a complete setup over hall but usually consists of nothing more than putting a new hat on Malibu Stacey. To be clear I am not saying we need to go back to the old days and take away certain benefits of today’s gear, I totally understand and fully condone updating and evolving for the sake of improvements but lets face it, there is a lot of both perceived and designed obsolescence in this game and its (mostly) our own faults.











“what’s that? You still rocking that old fruity loops? Why don’t you upgrade [for $$] its got a new colored sequencer!”

We (the consumers) often demand new products that contain bevy of new features but we hardly demand any kind of training on these very products, we hardly even seek it out when it IS there readily available. We often use the products for their face value purpose (plug and play) and rather than dig deeper to see the full extent of its capabilities, we just wait for a new product to come along that does it easier.


"Komplete 7! if you don't know what your doing with it, it will serve as the perfect desktop paperweight until the arrival of Komplete 8!"

“I don’t feel like mixing and eq’ing these drums and adding effects to them to make them pop in this battery 3, I’LL JUST GO GET MASCHINE!”

I said “mostly” our faults because it is also the fault of business the way the markets are set up. Due to their low price and numerous variety, the soft synth market has become the ultimate impulse buy weapon of choice for pro audio stores, the virtual “candy bar section by the check out stand” of the guitar centers of the world. Just look at literally where they are placed in most Pro Audio stores; the equivalent of the same spot that a snickers bar would be at a Wal-mart.

“Thank you for your purchase of those expensive speakers sir, would you like to throw in a copy of Eastwest symphonic choir for only $500?”

“Sure why not! It’s not like im paying $3000 for a Fantom or anything!”

The set up is not designed to let you see how they (or more importantly if) they work with your workflow, it’s made to appear as a harmless tack on purchase. A toy you can tink around with and find some nice sounds. If you find something you like great, if not, screw it! what’s a few hundred dollars to a big time producer like you?

Except you aren’t a big time producer, in fact, in many cases you’re a regular guy/gal that earns a majority of their money through a day job and probably cant just shrug of a combined number of 3 – 5 hundred dollar purchases. To be fair, many of these companies offer a free downloadable limited version of their products for testing but again, do any of us use them beyond “hey these are some good sounds, time to make a trip to the store!” I agree with the save function being disabled (you’d just have a free copy of the program if they didn’t do that) but sadly many of these are timed to settings as low as 15 – 20 minutes which doesn’t really give you a chance to get a feel for the product in your work flow, to really take it apart and get in tune with it. You can go to any local pro audio store and sit in front of a Korg M3 for hours getting acquainted before anyone would walk up and say anything to you. Many a times the computer at that same store that is supposed to house all the programs isn’t even hooked up.
This isn’t really about the store however, this is about you, this is about us. If you truly want to get out of the costly prison that is GADD then the only thing to do is discipline yourself. Stop rewarding your own bad behavior (of preset surfing) by buying new products for a “fix”. Do some of the following things.

n If you have multiple programs, take one month to really discover it. Learn its capabilities and study how to do them through trial and error.
n Focus on learning the basic principles (through books) of what your plug in is rather than trying to learn just the plug in. if you bought a fancy new waves bundle compressor collection, read up on the basic principles of compression. This will help you tremendously not just with the waves bundle but with ALL compressors.
n A lot of times we grab these products and instantly throw them in to our arsenal because we need beats made like YESTERDAY. Instead, try taking the time out to go through ALL the tutorials on your product. Really take a day away from beat making and focus on watching tutorials for that product. Resist the urge of opening your sequencer and making something and just watch…. Breath deep.
n Take one of your products and write down a list of stuff you’d like to be able to do with it in your production process. Do you have a synth and you’d like to be able to make gated sounds but aren’t sure how? Sit down and discover by videos and tutorials and keep making gated sounds until you’ve mastered it.
n The next time you think your program can’t do something or can’t do it as well as some shiny new product can, go online and look up “your product” + “famous producer making beat with it” and see what happens. I used to hate Reason and think it was kids stuff, until I saw What DJ TOOMP did with it.

Lastly I just want to make it clear that this wasn’t a cry fest or an effort to lecture anyone, just to point out that there is one place that you never look to find that perfect program that will always give you the perfect sound, perfect pitch. It is a program that is always updated and working at highest capacity with absolutely zero latency, and that program is your own mind (god that sounded like Bruce Leroy’s Kung Fu master in The Last Dragon).

Stay Thirsty My Friends.

BEWARE THE DREADED HOBBIE RAPPER!!!

- We hear you have what the humans call "slappers" -

Ever wonder why rappers will ask you about a track. Saying its hot then scoff at you like you trippin when you tell them the price THEY ASKED FOR no matter how low you go? Ever wonder why a rapper will give you a sob story about how they can’t afford your price then go rip a 16 about how they just blew a billion and don’t care? Wonder what makes a rapper not want to drop that few hundred dollars for a track from you but be more than willing to spend they’re LAST on a pair of space jam jordans and bubble kush? The innocent solution may be a simple case of value (risk vs reward) which is perfectly fine, but there is also a possibility that you are in the presence of the dreaded HOBBY RAPPER IN DENIAL!!!!

-Look honey, I believe he's trying to burst a rhyme or something-

First let me make painstakingly clear that this is not a complaint. I have a few faithful and paying clients that I work with and am grateful for. I’m not some bitter producer sitting around my website wondering why my beats aren’t selling. In fact things are going strangely well including a surprise I am itching to drop in the coming weeks. I am writing this because I often hear producers complain about broke rappers as if the rapper is some sort of victim who is clueless about his impoverished situation. Like he gets to the booth, spits on a track but when its time pay he reaches for his wallet, only to hit rock bottom when confronted with the devastating truth; that he/she is broke. This isn’t the case at all. In most cases it isn’t the rapper who is in denial at all; It’s you.

Now lets take a look at why an artist isn’t buying your tracks. You’re a producer with no resume or credits to your name. you have only worked locally and nothing you’ve done has been critically acclaimed even at that level (no diss this is a scenario). Regardless of these facts you happen to make a hot beat. I mean really hot (not just to you). An artist comes along and really likes it, so much so that they ask you if they can have that. You explain to them that the price is $150 for the exclusive and that you don’t do non-exclusives. Once again the artist goes into assessment mode only in this situation things are much different. The beat is hot but who is this producer they are as unknown as the artist. Also (and this is something I want to stress) an artist ultimate goal is usually finding a track that’s going to take them further into their career, however a lot of people do this and deep down KNOW THEY AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE. This is not meant as an insult. Just a fact. Of course everyone is going to say they are in it to be the best but most are just in it for an ego stroke, make tracks for their homies and maybe do a few local shows. Nothing wrong with that but you have to understand that this is gonna factor in HEAVILY to whether or not they are going to buy that track from you (at nearly any price). An artist that’s not THAT serious about their career isn’t going to drop hundreds of dollars on a beat anymore than a producer that’s not serious is gonna drop big money on any equipment. No they go and download a sequencer loop a couple of sound samples (“aye dog I got that dirty south synth samples volume three from motion sounds”) and call themselves a super producer. Rappers that aren’t serious are no different. They aren’t going to drop big cash on a beat for the career they aren’t serious about. THAT’S WEED MONEY!
Your thought process of course is going to be to think that they are suffering from sticker shock: they may be, but if they aren’t serious, your going to be dropping a looooong way down to the point where its not even worth it anymore.
Think about it, what does an artist (at any level) spend most of their career based money on. Pens and pads? Blue yankee hats? No; STUDIO TIME AND BEATS. That’s it. There is no real equipment required for rapping like production (again this is assuming You’re a serious producer who has paid for his/her equipment). A serious rapper understands that a purchase of a track from you means they think they can turn it into a quality record, thus it is worth the purchase (to within reason). If you have a name and a even better. A hobby rapper on the other hand is more concerned with an ego stroke from time to time. A hot beat is hot but it’s never going to mean anything more to them than a chance to play it in front of the homies or bump it in their 89 civic on the way to work at UPS. In other words a splurge purchase which would be nice but ultimately a waste of money.
Looking for serious rappers in what has become a sea of hobby rappers is akin to Prince Hakeem looking for a suitable Queen in A bar. I’m no “SOOPA PRODUCAH” by any stretch of the term, but I can give you a few examples of what’s worked for me.

[NOTE: these aren’t golden rules or nothing. Just what works for me. Take it as advice if you want.]

1. Don’t put the price of any of your tracks or your rates out there on the web, not even on your own site.

Ever notice that the more high end car dealers never seem to have the price of the car on the car? The specs are loaded up on there, the upgrades are listed but you always have to go to a salesman to find out the price. This is called “changing the power dynamic” by you asking the price you are instantly showing that you are interested in the item. Don’t list your price and the same will happen with you. You will get a few walk away from sticker shock but that’s acceptable. You also may not charge one person the same as the next (say an artist you really want to be on the track or a national act). Let all prices be on handshake status and make sure no artist tells another what your charging them.

2. Quality over quantity.

This is an obvious one but always put your BEST out front and understand the difference between a single and an album track. Having a billion album tracks on your website will lul some artist to sleep. Those are the ones that you show them after they already get that single from you. Its apple pie after the big mac.

3. Don’t put everything on your site.

The game is to be sold, not to be told. Likewise, your music page should give artist a strong suggestion of all that you can do, not all that you have done. You always want to have a few tracks available that others haven’t heard so that they feel as they are the only ones to hear it not in a deceptive way, you can let them know if you are shopping it but theres a big difference between shopping something to other artist or if you have it on a billboard to anyone.

4. Don’t be afraid to talk to the artist about their project.

To use another car reference, there is nothing that separates the high end lots from the kurt russel used car lots quicker than communication. If I come in looking for a four door v8 don’t try to smush me in the smart car because you are trying to get a quick sell. Actually ask the artist what they’re goals are. You don’t have to have an Oprah interview with them, but try to get an idea of what they want and how you can work with them.

5. Don’t let artist see your process (unless it really is some impressive setup).

I know I know “but Joey, some of the best tracks are some of the simplest ones done on some of the simplest setups” I know and I fully agree. The reason we know this however is because we know this AFTER its become a hit. Half the time it’s a shock to most people that some classics were rather simple tracks. Most artist (especially ones who don’t produce) don’t understand this and get a little under whelmed paying big money for a track only has a few simple parts to it or only took you a few minutes to make. I once had this heater of a track this artist was really digging. I do a lot tracks at my house, simple set up of a midi board and a few software plug ins. I brought this artist over once to go through some tracks and see if he heard anything he liked. Nothing was working, everything just “didn’t have that radio ready feel to it”.
A month later he we met up to hear what new stuff I had only this time we played tracks at the studio, with the bix mixing board and the mpc, daw workstation, lights and whistles there. He was digging the tracks and bought one on the spot.
They were the same tracks.
A simple process or uninspiring set up is always room for a rapper to to try and haggle with you “how you gon charge me XX when all you did was loop that and add drums to it?” let the product be all they see.

Hopefully these tips will help you dwindle down that pool of potential buyers from wannabes to serious inquiries.

MISSING THE POINT: How trying to appear cultured can make things worse

As a liberal I often get a bad rep in politics as a weak, dream-thinker with no foundation in the real world, almost as if I think most of the worlds problems can be solved if we all just “get along” and not use naughty words. Ironically, it’s as a hip hop producer that I get a completely parallel reputation as a thuged out mindless caveman who lives in a tribal warzone mentality, unable to discern higher levels of thought like tolerance and reflection in lieu of more practical things like “getting dat money”. Which is why I find myself at a rather frustrating crossroads with the recent dog and pony show from the master of dog and pony shows; Berkeley Artist Lil B.

For those that don’t know, Lil B is a former (ongoing?) member of hip hop group “The Pack” who are most known for their song “Vans”. Since the initial group success Lil B has gone the shock jock route with much success to the point of becoming a deity among the skinny jeans wearing Xtasy pill popping crowd in Cali. Its not uncommon to listen to a Lil B album and hear a jumbled mass of random cuss words and sound effects that somehow work on the excellent production he chooses (keyboard kid on the tracks), the most noticeable of which is his unusual habit of calling himself a “fag”, “faggot”, or even “pretty bitch” (he also believes he looks like a number of people who cause him to have “bitches on his dick” such as Hannah Montana, and even the savior but that’s a different story altogether). It appears Lil B has seen gold in dropping the gay bombs as he has decided to name his upcoming album “I’m Gay”.

THE PROBLEM:

First of let me say that the following is not going to be gay bashing so don’t worry. Secondly let me also say WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT!? Have we really gotten so PC in this country that to say anything bad about something gay instantly makes you homophobic? I hate Perez Hilton because he is a jerk does that mean I’m homophobic?

Ahem, moving on. Lil B is playing the white community like a fiddle and having them eating out of his hand. Within days he has a front page article on Huffington post about his “bravery” for the name of the album. He has even gone as far as to say he has received death threats over the title. He’s a regular martin Luther king! Better even! (Who the fuck was that MLK guy anyway? He was probably a homophobe!). The problem here is this. IT’S ALL BULLSHIT. Lil B hasn’t named the album “I’m Gay” to make any point about the gay community, or to take a stand for gay rights. He simply named it this because it would get attention, and it’s working.

I know what your thinking

“But the hip hop community hates gays he won’t sell anything”

The hip hop community (its arguable hatred for gays aside) hasn’t had a say in who sells albums since 1999. Its more important to get a cosign from the Disney channel than Hot 97. We all know who really moves units for hip hop artist these days and they sure don’t look like the artist. Middle (and upper) class suburban white kids. That guy that wants to look “down” at the party by telling you he has a Drake cd. Lets keep it real here. This is great for Lil B’s career. He’s going to be labeled a “hero” and “brave” for doing such a thing and no one is going to pay attention to the actual content of such an album. This album is going to be full of plenty of “bitch fuck a bitch bitch pretty swag bitch bitch fuck a bitch bitch fucking bitches on my dick because I look like Joe Bidden” and people are going to talk about it like it was as powerful for the culture as Marvin Gaye’s what’s going on record (hey didn’t he change his last name from Gay to Gaye? Homophobe!).

Why you ask? Because simply, IT’S ALL BULLSHIT.

See being actually about something and thinking is hard. Being a real person takes a lot of energy and focus and thought. People don’t have time for that shit, we have to make room for checking our ipad (2’s) and updating our twitter’s, facebook’s, tumblr’s etc.

As a counterbalance, rather than doing things to actually make us more enlightened people, we just do stuff to make us LOOK more enlightened as a people. Why plan a protest against an oppressive rule that bars two people from marrying each other when you can simply retweet a celebrity saying down with prob8? See how much easier that is?

Why go through all the trouble educating people on how there really is no difference between the straight and gay communities when you can have Hillary duff and Wanda Sykes pop up on TV and tell you not to say the G word to describe stuff in a cute and (un) funny way?

Hell why even bring up stories on the inequalities of LGBT people when you can spend your day emailing local radio DJs and telling them to not say no homo [friendly jab]?

After all isn’t this what that (homophobic) MLK guy like, had a dream about or something? I know he said he hoped that one day his children would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, but I’m sure he meant he dreamed to live in a world where people just couldn’t say the N word. Same diff right? *Presses like button*

The point is rather than actually doing a little research on Lil B and seeing right through this stunt (a simple YouTube search and clicking on the very first video of his where he goes on and on about his favorite subject would clear up any misconception that he named his album out of anything pure), people are just going to cosign this guy to oblivion because it makes them appear like they are concerned about this subject all the while not knowing they are the butt of his joke. This wouldn’t really bother me (it’s actually kind of funny) except for one thing; WHY DOES LIL B HAVE TO SACRIFICE THE HIP HOP AND BLACK COMMUNITY TO DO IT?

In the Huffington post/ MTV article the rapper goes on to tear down the hip hop community as being slow, un-evolved, and close minded (all the things he knows his new mainstream audience would want to hear)

"Hip Hop is a culture and environment which does not provide a safe place for an artist to come forward or to come out," he wrote. "If you listen to many rap lyrics they promote hate and gay-bashing. It is an environment where the thug and gangster mentality is prevalent. Artists boast of a hyper-masculine bravado, with their crotch-grabbing, degradation of women, and their braggadocios lyrical slaying about the number of women they've slept with and children they’ve produced."

It's those types of examples that Lil B said he's trying to fight against.

Really?

The same guy who just made THIS?

Seriously thinking that Lil B named his album “I’m Gay” to truly address anything regarding homosexuality and/or the lack of tolerance from the hip hop community is like thinking Howard Stern made his character “Fart man” to help raise awareness for prostate cancer. Now go back and look at the comments on how smug the people on huffpo regard us “cavemen” in the hip hop community. See what I am talking about and look at the lions Lil B delivered us to. I wonder if they will realize they’ve been had when he drops his next album “I’m going to rape Kanye West in the azz” (yes he really said this).